But he'll certainly do.
Fighting off a killer headache in "the cave" (a.k.a. our basement) with a feline companion looking after me. Aside from the pain, there are definitely worse ways to spend a day.
Wednesday, September 03, 2014
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
#TVDoneRight: The Walking Dead
I'm so glad ladies like Deborah Nam-Krane and Caroline Hart keep giving a girl like me opportunities to play along on their fun Blog Hops. This time around, we're celebrating TV Done Right. I've chosen to write about AMC's The Walking Dead.
This choice may come as a surprise to those of you who know me out in the real world. I'm definitely a girl's girl. I wear dresses to go shopping. I buy really pretty heels that I can't actually wear because they pinch my toes. Pink is my favorite color. How can a girl like me like The Walking Dead?
It's easy - The Walking Dead is NOT about the zombies.
No really - it's NOT about the zombies.
Let me step back. When the show originally aired, I remember my husband turning on AMC and saying, "I'd like to give this show a try." I was leery and suspected it would be something he would wind up watching alone while I folded laundry in another room; a far away room; the neighbors' house. But then, Rick Grimes happened. Dude wakes up from a coma in a hospital bed, only to find he's alone; like COMPLETELY alone. The door to his room has been barricaded shut and once he struggles to get through, he see's the hospital in shambles; abandoned.
I was riveted. I couldn't tear myself away. The concept was so frightening. I had to see how it would play out. It wasn't about the zombies. It was about a man, coming back to life, and learning that "life" as he knew it no longer existed. I was hooked the moment Rick opened his eyes and I've been obsessed ever since.
Along the way, I've noticed some life lessons that are just as true in our civilized world as they are in a world overrun by walkers. I've picked my top five, but there really are so many more.
Lesson #1: Keep those you love close and tell them how you feel every day.
In season two one of the regular characters who has been a bit of a third wheel until that point, Glenn, meets and falls hard for the Farmer's daughter, Maggie. At first it's just a matter of convenience. He's young. She's young. He's single. She's single. He's hot. She's fast. But their relationship quickly moves from steamy to steady. They develop real feelings and before Glenn is about to leave the farm on a dangerous run to town, Maggie sends him off with those three little words that can either strike fear or joy into a man's heart. Glenn actually feels the same way, but he's so flustered and nervous in the moment (again, going out on a dangerous run), he doesn't say it back. He kicks himself over the mistake and on the run, finds himself paralyzed over the thought of breaking Maggie's heart. He really should have said it back. We all need to say it back, or better yet, just freely volunteer it. Love is pretty important. Don't bottle that shit up.
Lesson #2: Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Appreciate every moment.
At the beginning of season 4, the group has grown in numbers and they seem to have found a safe haven in an abandoned prison. They're functioning as a community. They're farming. They have a counsel that makes important decisions on behalf of the group. They really do seem to have a grasp on this whole apocalyptic living thing. But when the previous season's foe, the Governor, comes back for revenge, they lose everything in an instant. The prison is destroyed. Loved ones are murdered. The group is scattered; weakened; vulnerable. It just shows how quickly everything you've built can be taken away. Appreciate what you have now. It may not be here tomorrow.
Lesson #3: Trust is your most valuable possession. You don't have to share it until it has been earned.
Back before the prison was their own little Utopia, it was a prison, full of prisoners, who did prisony things. When the group takes the place over in season 3, there are still a few of those prisoners remaining. Rick refuses to accept them into the fold, and while this could be considered cruel on his part, I actually think it's wise. He doesn't know these men or their crimes and he has a whole group of people looking to him to keep them safe from harm. His decision leads to some confrontation, followed by some killing, followed by some begging. It's not until the two remaining prisoners step in during a catastrophic situation that Rick finally allows them to be part of the group. They earned his trust and never made him doubt it.
Lesson #4: Everyone has something to offer. Hone in on your talents and contribute them to the greater good.
Let's talk about Hershel. When we first met him, he was just a peaceful farmer, living on his miraculously untouched farm. Then he lost his wife. Then he lost his farm. Then he lost his leg. Yeah, the guy loses an awful lot, but he somehow never loses hope. In season 4, a mysterious illness threatens the entire group, and the counsel decides to quarantine the very young and very old members of the group. Hershel, being the only very old member of the group, is locked away in the administrative wing of the prison feeling helpless. While some members of the group are out trying to gather meds to battle the disease, Hershel determines he can at least help to abate the symptoms of the patients with elderberry tea. Both Rick and his daughter, Maggie try to keep him from entering the hot zone, but in a speech that still brings me to tears each time I see it, Hershel makes them realize that he CAN help and he MUST because everybody has a job, and saving these lives is his. And, then he proceeds to give us an episode full of one-legged, elderly, "drink the tea" baddassery that has never before and never again will be captured on film.
Lesson #5: If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
OK, let's say you find yourself homeless (again) and either alone or with just a few companions and you're just trying to find a new place to stay until you can get your bearings and find the others. You're exhausted, because you just narrowly escaped a vicious attack. You're cold. You're hungry. And you're pretty pissed off. I suppose I can see how this sign would be tempting.
But, sweet Jeezuz! You've managed to make it 4 seasons through the end of days, so we know you're not an idiot. Are you? Are you?!?!? Ugh. Well, I suppose we've all still got a few more lessons to learn, don't we?
Thanks for reading! Be sure to stop by Courtney Giardana's blog tomorrow to see what she has to say!
This choice may come as a surprise to those of you who know me out in the real world. I'm definitely a girl's girl. I wear dresses to go shopping. I buy really pretty heels that I can't actually wear because they pinch my toes. Pink is my favorite color. How can a girl like me like The Walking Dead?
It's easy - The Walking Dead is NOT about the zombies.
 |
| The crap did she just say? |
Let me step back. When the show originally aired, I remember my husband turning on AMC and saying, "I'd like to give this show a try." I was leery and suspected it would be something he would wind up watching alone while I folded laundry in another room; a far away room; the neighbors' house. But then, Rick Grimes happened. Dude wakes up from a coma in a hospital bed, only to find he's alone; like COMPLETELY alone. The door to his room has been barricaded shut and once he struggles to get through, he see's the hospital in shambles; abandoned.
 |
| At least he doesn't have to worry about the Hospital bills. |
Along the way, I've noticed some life lessons that are just as true in our civilized world as they are in a world overrun by walkers. I've picked my top five, but there really are so many more.
Lesson #1: Keep those you love close and tell them how you feel every day.
In season two one of the regular characters who has been a bit of a third wheel until that point, Glenn, meets and falls hard for the Farmer's daughter, Maggie. At first it's just a matter of convenience. He's young. She's young. He's single. She's single. He's hot. She's fast. But their relationship quickly moves from steamy to steady. They develop real feelings and before Glenn is about to leave the farm on a dangerous run to town, Maggie sends him off with those three little words that can either strike fear or joy into a man's heart. Glenn actually feels the same way, but he's so flustered and nervous in the moment (again, going out on a dangerous run), he doesn't say it back. He kicks himself over the mistake and on the run, finds himself paralyzed over the thought of breaking Maggie's heart. He really should have said it back. We all need to say it back, or better yet, just freely volunteer it. Love is pretty important. Don't bottle that shit up.
 |
| Shoot, did I leave the curling iron plugged in? |
At the beginning of season 4, the group has grown in numbers and they seem to have found a safe haven in an abandoned prison. They're functioning as a community. They're farming. They have a counsel that makes important decisions on behalf of the group. They really do seem to have a grasp on this whole apocalyptic living thing. But when the previous season's foe, the Governor, comes back for revenge, they lose everything in an instant. The prison is destroyed. Loved ones are murdered. The group is scattered; weakened; vulnerable. It just shows how quickly everything you've built can be taken away. Appreciate what you have now. It may not be here tomorrow.
Lesson #3: Trust is your most valuable possession. You don't have to share it until it has been earned.
Back before the prison was their own little Utopia, it was a prison, full of prisoners, who did prisony things. When the group takes the place over in season 3, there are still a few of those prisoners remaining. Rick refuses to accept them into the fold, and while this could be considered cruel on his part, I actually think it's wise. He doesn't know these men or their crimes and he has a whole group of people looking to him to keep them safe from harm. His decision leads to some confrontation, followed by some killing, followed by some begging. It's not until the two remaining prisoners step in during a catastrophic situation that Rick finally allows them to be part of the group. They earned his trust and never made him doubt it.
 |
| Axel and Oscar, outstanding in their field. |
Let's talk about Hershel. When we first met him, he was just a peaceful farmer, living on his miraculously untouched farm. Then he lost his wife. Then he lost his farm. Then he lost his leg. Yeah, the guy loses an awful lot, but he somehow never loses hope. In season 4, a mysterious illness threatens the entire group, and the counsel decides to quarantine the very young and very old members of the group. Hershel, being the only very old member of the group, is locked away in the administrative wing of the prison feeling helpless. While some members of the group are out trying to gather meds to battle the disease, Hershel determines he can at least help to abate the symptoms of the patients with elderberry tea. Both Rick and his daughter, Maggie try to keep him from entering the hot zone, but in a speech that still brings me to tears each time I see it, Hershel makes them realize that he CAN help and he MUST because everybody has a job, and saving these lives is his. And, then he proceeds to give us an episode full of one-legged, elderly, "drink the tea" baddassery that has never before and never again will be captured on film.
Lesson #5: If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
OK, let's say you find yourself homeless (again) and either alone or with just a few companions and you're just trying to find a new place to stay until you can get your bearings and find the others. You're exhausted, because you just narrowly escaped a vicious attack. You're cold. You're hungry. And you're pretty pissed off. I suppose I can see how this sign would be tempting.
But, sweet Jeezuz! You've managed to make it 4 seasons through the end of days, so we know you're not an idiot. Are you? Are you?!?!? Ugh. Well, I suppose we've all still got a few more lessons to learn, don't we?
Thanks for reading! Be sure to stop by Courtney Giardana's blog tomorrow to see what she has to say!
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
The TV Do-Over Blog Hop
This week and next author, Caroline Fardig is steering her blog in the direction of some other talented voices and I feel pretty honored to have been asked to participate. Contrary to what the frequency of my posts might make you think, I really do love writing and the topic she has chosen for us all to take on is one of universal interest: TV Do-Overs. We each get a chance to take that one story line that just gets under our skin and...fix it. *Insert evil laugh and hand wringing here* Don't worry, I'll try not to get drunk with this newfound power.
And it works! It finally works! Holy crap it works! She drops the seal trainer and shows up unannounced at J.D.'s apartment with a pizza. (Okay, maybe nobody knocks in the Scrubs universe.) They're together at last and everything seems to be perfect.
So, let's take a little trip back in time. It's the spring of 2004. It's Thursday night. You're wearing a red Kabbalah bracelet and kicking back with your Atkins and/or South Beach approved snack as you decide to turn on NBC. Wedged right between the "Must See TV" bookends, Friends and Will & Grace, is a fun little romp called Scrubs.
You've watched eagerly for three seasons as the main character, J.D., bumbles his way through his medical internship and attempts to win the affections of Elliot Reid. You're nearing the end of the season and things aren't looking very hopeful. Well that's not entirely accurate. Things actually do look good for about a minute. Elliot's boyfriend, is out of the country and she and J.D. do get dangerously close (okay, they sleep together). Fidelity issues aside, I suppose this could look like a victory for J.D....right up until the boyfriend walks back into the picture. No literally, he shows up at J.D.'s apartment and just walks right in the door. What the Hell, Sean? Too busy holding sea creatures captive to knock?
 |
| (Ha-Ha! In 2004 we thought being a trainer at Sea World was a noble profession!) |
Okay, so NOW things aren't looking very hopeful. Elliot is so sure she wants to make things work with Sean that she asks him to move in with her. That's pretty serious. Naturally, J.D. is a little mopey, but somehow, he actually plucks up the courage to tell Elliot how he really feels. It's a great speech, like the TV equivalent of the When Harry Met Sally New Year's Eve Speech.
 |
| "Words...words...words...Pizza...Bad TV...words...words...words...I'd choose you...words...tears." |
 |
| "You finally have me, Dr. Dorian." |
Ah. That's nice. You probably want to just sit back for a moment and take it all in.
But nope. No. You don't get to. Because J.-fricken-D. decides at that exact moment that he doesn't want Elliot.
WHAT?!?
Of all the whiny, ridiculous, senseless, crap...
*deep cleansing breaths*
Okay. Time for a re-write.
Let's go back to that sweet moment on the couch. Elliot tells J.D. he finally has her and instead of making a really big
he simply takes stock of the moment in his mind. He realizes he's finally happy. He appreciates the gravity of the risk Elliot has taken to be with him. He's ready to be in love. Aaaaaand scene.
Well that was easy.
No really, that was so very easy.
If the writers were so desperate to throw conflict into the final few episodes of the season, they should have had J.D. steal Carla and Turk's thunder by proposing to Elliot at their rehearsal dinner. Most of the other characters would have still been angry with him, but it would have been for a reason the viewers could actually get behind. And we might not have had to wait 9 seasons finally to see this:
SPOILER ALERT!
Be sure to check out the next stop on Caroline's Blog Hop tomorrow to see what Lilian Roberts has to say about her favorite shows.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Smokey Milestone
Monday, September 16, 2013
Ya Dig?
When somebody calls you on whatever stupid shit you’re trying to pull, you can react one of two ways.
1) You can face it. Admit that you’ve been a tool. Accept the consequences. Move on.
2) You can grab a shovel and try to bury the shit you’ve been called on with an insurmountable heap of even more shit.
Choice number one can be uncomfortable, but it really only lasts a moment.
Choice number two, puts you to work for the rest of your existence shoveling shit. It’s hard work. It’s dirty work. It’s never ending work.
And yet, it’s the path I’ve seen most chosen.
Puzzling, eh?
1) You can face it. Admit that you’ve been a tool. Accept the consequences. Move on.
2) You can grab a shovel and try to bury the shit you’ve been called on with an insurmountable heap of even more shit.
Choice number one can be uncomfortable, but it really only lasts a moment.
Choice number two, puts you to work for the rest of your existence shoveling shit. It’s hard work. It’s dirty work. It’s never ending work.
And yet, it’s the path I’ve seen most chosen.
Puzzling, eh?
Monday, August 19, 2013
Special Guest Post by Author, Caroline Fardig
I'm pretty excited to hand my blog over for today to my college friend, Caroline Fardig, who has written a book that has been climbing the Barnes & Noble bestseller charts this past weekend. I'm pretty proud to be able to say "I knew her when," and it was obvious to me then that she was destined to accomplish any goal laid out for her.
Enjoy!
And what do you do at the Liberty Chronicle?
I’m the copy editor.
Enjoy!
Interview
with Lizzie Hart
By: Caroline Fardig
CF: Thanks for sitting down with me for an
interview today, Lizzie.
Lizzie: Yeah, well, my boss told me I had to. He said it would be “great exposure” for the Liberty Chronicle to do a blog
interview.
And what do you do at the Liberty Chronicle?
I’m the copy editor.
Where were you born, and where did you grow up?
In
Liberty.
Are you married?
No.
Hell no.
Okay, moving on. I’ve heard you have had some excitement in
Liberty over the past week.
Only if
you count the fact that I found a co-worker’s dead body.
Yes, about that. How did you happen upon the scene?
I was at
the county fair, working at the Chronicle’s
propaganda booth with two of my co-workers, Blake and Hannah. It was raining, and Hannah had gone to look
at an exhibit. She was electrocuted
after falling into a large puddle…along with a plugged-in radio. I don’t think it was an accident.
How horrible! What did you do?
I alerted
the police.
Can you describe the scene for
me?
Not
without having a panic attack.
Can you at least describe what
were you thinking when you found your co-worker, Hannah?
*Sighs*
I wanted to try to help her, but Blake insisted there was nothing I
could do. He held me back to make sure I
didn’t touch her or the water so I wouldn’t be electrocuted, too. He…saved my life, I guess.
Wow. Blake saved you. I bet you’re grateful to him.
Yes, I
am. He’s really a fantastic guy, and a
wonderful reporter.
You’re blushing a bit. Is there more to this story?
NO! I—um…he doesn’t know— I mean, uh…can you cut out this part?
Is there a little office romance
brewing?
That’s a
little personal, don’t you think?
Fair enough. Why don’t we go with some less serious questions
to let everyone get to know you better?
Fan-freaking-tastic.
What do you like to do for fun?
I like
to go out with my friends, especially my best friend, Julia.
Tell me about your best friend. How did you meet?
We met
in grade school, and we’ve been best friends since high school. We went to college together as well. And now we both work at the Chronicle.
It must be fun to work with your best
friend. Do you get along well with all of
your co-workers?
No.
If you could live anywhere, would you move away
from your hometown of Liberty?
No.
Maybe I need to stay away from asking yes/no
questions with you. What is your idea of
perfect happiness?
I’m
pretty happy right now. I like my job, I
have a beautiful home that my grannie left me, and I have great friends.
What about your love life? Would going out with Blake add to your
happiness?
Lady,
you’re treading on thin ice…
Alright, without naming names, describe your
perfect man.
Of
course he’d have to be handsome and sexy, but the most important thing to me is
“the spark”. I’m looking for romance,
but the conversation has to be good too, you know? I want someone who’s interesting and fun—and
he also has to make my heart flutter every time I see him.
If you were to be stranded on a desert island,
what three things would you bring?
A boat.
Come on, play along.
Fine. A boat, a pizza, and some beer.
You’re pretty straightforward, aren’t you?
So I’ve
been told.
Name something people do that annoys you the
most.
Prying
into my business.
Name something you do that annoys people.
I’ve
been told I’m not good at giving details when explaining something or telling a
story.
You don’t say.
I also
cuss a lot.
Back to our fun questions. What is in your refrigerator right now?
What
the hell kind of question is that?
I
think we’re done here.
Not a moment too soon.
If you like what you just read, be sure to check out Caroline's site ( http://www.carolinefardig.com ) and clickthrough to purchase It's Just a Little Crush.
Tuesday, August 06, 2013
Still Crazy After All These Years
A lot can change in twenty years. Most notably zip codes, but also occupations, pastimes, relationship statuses, waistlines, hairlines, general demeanor.
I saw it all on Saturday night at my 20th high school reunion. It was fascinating to see everybody come together again but as different people - adults.
It was much easier than what I had experienced back when we all roamed the halls of our now demolished school. Back then, we were all either struggling to figure out who we were or paralyzed into anonymity by the fear of social condemnation.
Saturday, we were each finally comfortable in our own skin, confident, proud to share our decade-spanning stories, genuinely eager to hear those of everybody else, behaving like grown-ups.
Sometimes being a grown-up is hard. Every day we punch clocks and have things like mortgages and dependents to worry about. But that night, when we all came together with only one guaranteed thing in common (the name of the institution on our high school diplomas), it seemed pretty darned easy.
Cheers to the class of 1993!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Bitch, Please.
Let's talk about being a bitch.
That may be a cringeworthy word to some, and I apologize if it is. But with the ease and frequency that it has been tossed in my direction, I think the term is more mainstream than our elders would have us believe.
Yes, dear friends, I have been called a bitch.
More times than I'm aware of, I'm sure. And I'd love to be strong and pretend that it doesn't actually hurt. But strength means nothing without a foundation of honesty. And honestly, I just want people to like me. Who doesn't?
But while we're on the subject of honesty, I have to say I think honesty is actually the bitch that got me into this mess. Because it's impossible to be completely honest without meeting some form of resistance along the way.
And, unfortunately, some people place so much weight on being right. All. The. Time. They simply can't accept any opposition. It's much easier to call me a name and write me off than to accept that there may be other valid opinions in this world.
"Agree to disagree? Never. She's just a stupid bitch."
Somewhere along the line it became wrong to say what's on your mind while face-to-face but acceptable to share those thoughts behind another's back. I just can't wrap my head around that concept.
That's probably why I'm such a bitch.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
The Girl With Kaleidoscope Eyes
I take my health for granted. Always have. At least until I've suddenly found myself feeling under the weather in some way. Then I long for it, pine for it, bargain for it. "If I could just breathe through my nose again, I swear I'll stop eating cookies before breakfast."
I've been dizzy this week. No worries, I'm still a brunette. Also, I'm pretty sure it's sinus related. Regardless of the cause, I've been rendered useless around the house because everytime I move, I feel like I'll either hit the floor or lose my lunch. Neither prospect is very appealing.
So here I sit, or rather, recline, wishing I could just feel normal again. Could inspire a bit more writing. But more likely just a trip to the doctor.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/65939154/vintage-spirograph-toy-by-kenner
Wednesday, January 09, 2013
Pressing My Buttons
This week, I said goodbye to a coworker I've grown quite fond of. After 25 years, he's decided to leave the company. When I asked what he's moving on to, his response was, "Nothing."
He is finally at a point in his life where he can afford to step away from the workforce for a few months and just...live. So he's going to do just that.
I was instantly jealous, then humbled as I reminded myself how long and hard he had to work to get to this point. 25 years is a lot of time to devote to something that merely pays the bills. Do I have it in me to do the same? Do I really want to?
I have talents that go beyond pressing all of the right buttons to place an order in the system. Musical talents, artistic talents, literary talents, etc. Do I really have to spend 25 years pressing buttons before I get to dig into those talents? Is that really my purpose?
The sensible answer is, "Yes. Yes I do have to press buttons for 25 years because pressing buttons is what puts a check in my account twice a month and I can't afford to live without those checks."
I hate sensible answers. But I suppose I hate homelessness even more, so, for now, I'm not going anywhere. Here's hoping for now lasts less than 25 years.
He is finally at a point in his life where he can afford to step away from the workforce for a few months and just...live. So he's going to do just that.
I was instantly jealous, then humbled as I reminded myself how long and hard he had to work to get to this point. 25 years is a lot of time to devote to something that merely pays the bills. Do I have it in me to do the same? Do I really want to?
I have talents that go beyond pressing all of the right buttons to place an order in the system. Musical talents, artistic talents, literary talents, etc. Do I really have to spend 25 years pressing buttons before I get to dig into those talents? Is that really my purpose?
The sensible answer is, "Yes. Yes I do have to press buttons for 25 years because pressing buttons is what puts a check in my account twice a month and I can't afford to live without those checks."
I hate sensible answers. But I suppose I hate homelessness even more, so, for now, I'm not going anywhere. Here's hoping for now lasts less than 25 years.
Sunday, January 06, 2013
Basking In the Laziness
I've signed up for a fitness challenge at work that should hopefully help me shed a few unnecessary pounds (okay, more like the weight of another entire person.) It's not a vanity thing for me (though, when I reach my goal, I do plan to spoil myself with a shopping spree that would make Carrie Bradshaw blush.) I'm just tired of being tired all the time.
So this weekend was my last hurrah. Visited a bunch of spots I'll now avoid for the rest if my life. Ate. Drank. Was merry.
It was fun, but I have a feeling I'll have even more fun being thin.
Wish me luck!
So this weekend was my last hurrah. Visited a bunch of spots I'll now avoid for the rest if my life. Ate. Drank. Was merry.
It was fun, but I have a feeling I'll have even more fun being thin.
Wish me luck!
Friday, January 04, 2013
Unconditional Love
The thing about having a sibling is...if you play your cards right, you have a guaranteed lifelong best friend. Hell, even if you DON'T play your cards right you're pretty much a shoo-in. I've made more mistakes with Suzanne than either of us can count and she still keeps right on loving me. Unconditionally.
That makes me one pretty lucky gal.
That makes me one pretty lucky gal.
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Feelin' Froggy
The gifts have been unwrapped. The cookies have been consumed. The guests have driven off into the sunset leaving echoes of stories and laughter.
This frog's got the right idea - time to flop.
This frog's got the right idea - time to flop.
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
The Comfort of an Old Friend
Some folks are just a good fit...no matter how much time has passed since you last saw each other.
Tuesday, January 01, 2013
A Picture Is Worth...
Neglect. Ugh. It's such an unpleasant word. So harsh and cold. I hate unpleasant things and harsh things and cold things. You'd think I'd try to keep myself pretty far away from a habit that encompasses all of those things. Yet, it happens to be the one and only task I managed to accomplish consistently in 2012.
My writing, my fitness, my friendships, the upkeep of our house....nothing was spared. And everything suffered.
So, I'm going to take some steps to end that suffering. That's right, folks. 2013 will be my Year of Attentiveness. (I know. It's a working title. Fine. It sucks. I'll scrap it.) But the point I'm trying to make here is that I'm finally making a New Year's resolution - one that I truthfully can't afford not to keep. This year, I resolve to be less neglectful.
And I'm starting with this blog. I've issued a challenge to myself to post a li'l something every day. And to make it easier, I'll be using photos as my inspiration. Can a picture a day keep the neglect away?
I guess we'll all just have to find out together.
Happy New Year!
 |
| First Photo of 2013! |
Friday, July 13, 2012
Enough Is Enough!!!
Stacey and I are cube dwellers. We show up Monday through Friday at 8:00 AM and we leave at 5:00 and the bulk of that time is spent devoted to the needs of our customers and sales reps. But, as any good child of the 80's surely knows, all work and no play can lead to destroying a perfectly good door with an axe while Shelley Duvall and her weird kid look on in horror. Nobody wants that. Do you know how hard it is to sell folders when some kid is screeching "redrum" in your ear? Pretty damned hard.
Which is why we like to liven things up every now and then. The most recent source of entertainment has been Slither.
Slither, an eerily lifelike rubber snake, made his first appearance in the office about a year ago when I opened my file drawer to find his beady little reptilian eyes staring up at me. A scream rang out. Paperwork scattered. And Stacey laughed her ass off on the other side of the room.
Well played, Monahan. Well played.
For months, we re-gifted Slither, tucking him away into increasingly creative places, until we simply ran out of ways to startle each other. Yesterday, we decided it was time to share the joy of Slither with some other folks at the office.
We chose the ladies restroom as his first, and what turned out to be his final resting place. Stacey carefully coiled him atop the paper towel dispenser; his emotionless, silicone face dangling at just the right level to meet the unsuspecting gaze of any lady who reached for a paper towel.
And it worked! Our first victim, Teresa, came stomping back to our area asking if there was a curse jar to which she could add a handful of quarters. We giggled and beamed with pride. Teresa was a little less amused and warned that our prank would someday come back to haunt us.
By this morning, I had forgotten all about the hi-jinks we'd set in motion the day before. It was,in fact, so far in the back of my mind that I, myself became victim #2 of Slither's wrath during a mid-morning visit to the ladies room. I yelped and finished drying my hands, then clenched his lifeless body in my fist and prepared to hurl him over Stacey's cube wall to show my appreciation.
As I rounded the corner to head back to our area, I was faced with the unthinkable: another snake.
This one was stretched out across the carpet that ran between Stacey's cubicle and mine. I assumed Stacey was upping the anti. She had probably remembered that Slither was still perched in the ladies room and thought she could really get me if she laid another one out to greet me as I returned.
I tentatively said her name. She turned around in her chair and saw me with Slither in my hand, then started laughing uncontrollably at the thought of my bathroom fright. I just stared at her blankly. "What?" she asked as I slowly pointed forward at the dark line between us. "Holy shit! That is not me! I did not do that!" she yelled and climbed up on her desk.
Me: Oh my God! Is it real?
Stacey: I don't know!!!
Me: Throw something at it.
She tossed a binder clip. It landed about an inch away from the snake's head. There was no movement. We both sighed in relief.
Stacey: Somebody is messing with us.
Me: Teresa?
Stacey: If that was Teresa, she did a really good job, because that thing looks real.
Me: Throw something else. See if you can actually hit it.
She tossed her correction tape and beaned that li'l sucker right on the head. And holy shit it moved!!! It reared it's head skyward and hissed and started squiggling toward Stacey's cubicle.
Do you remember that scene in the Princess Bride right after the six fingered man says "Not to 50!" and Wesley cries out so long and so loud that it can be heard for miles around? Double that and take it two octaves up. That was us.
I ran to the front of the building, yelling "There's a snake in the office! He's real! He's alive! He's moving and he's pissed!" Two male coworkers hurried toward me, then simultaneously cocked their heads to the side as they saw Slither still clutched in my trembling hand. "Not this one. This one's fake. The other one's real!" I tossed Slither aside and led them back to our area, where Stacey was still standing on her desk, now jumping up and down and pleading for help.
Yakkity Sax would have been the perfect soundtrack for the next few moments as the two fellows tried wrangling our newest coworker, who had discovered that he could fit quite comfortably under Stacey's cubicle wall to avoid the deluge of hands and feet that had suddenly surrounded him. He was eventually caught and humanely set free into the grassy area behind our office.
As heart rates returned to normal, we agreed, in light of what had just transpired, that Slither would no longer be an asset to our team. We simply had to let him go.
And he did go. Home. With Teresa. Guess victim #1 was a bit more amused than we thought.
Which is why we like to liven things up every now and then. The most recent source of entertainment has been Slither.
Slither, an eerily lifelike rubber snake, made his first appearance in the office about a year ago when I opened my file drawer to find his beady little reptilian eyes staring up at me. A scream rang out. Paperwork scattered. And Stacey laughed her ass off on the other side of the room.
Well played, Monahan. Well played.
For months, we re-gifted Slither, tucking him away into increasingly creative places, until we simply ran out of ways to startle each other. Yesterday, we decided it was time to share the joy of Slither with some other folks at the office.
We chose the ladies restroom as his first, and what turned out to be his final resting place. Stacey carefully coiled him atop the paper towel dispenser; his emotionless, silicone face dangling at just the right level to meet the unsuspecting gaze of any lady who reached for a paper towel.
And it worked! Our first victim, Teresa, came stomping back to our area asking if there was a curse jar to which she could add a handful of quarters. We giggled and beamed with pride. Teresa was a little less amused and warned that our prank would someday come back to haunt us.
By this morning, I had forgotten all about the hi-jinks we'd set in motion the day before. It was,in fact, so far in the back of my mind that I, myself became victim #2 of Slither's wrath during a mid-morning visit to the ladies room. I yelped and finished drying my hands, then clenched his lifeless body in my fist and prepared to hurl him over Stacey's cube wall to show my appreciation.
As I rounded the corner to head back to our area, I was faced with the unthinkable: another snake.
This one was stretched out across the carpet that ran between Stacey's cubicle and mine. I assumed Stacey was upping the anti. She had probably remembered that Slither was still perched in the ladies room and thought she could really get me if she laid another one out to greet me as I returned.
I tentatively said her name. She turned around in her chair and saw me with Slither in my hand, then started laughing uncontrollably at the thought of my bathroom fright. I just stared at her blankly. "What?" she asked as I slowly pointed forward at the dark line between us. "Holy shit! That is not me! I did not do that!" she yelled and climbed up on her desk.
Me: Oh my God! Is it real?
Stacey: I don't know!!!
Me: Throw something at it.
She tossed a binder clip. It landed about an inch away from the snake's head. There was no movement. We both sighed in relief.
Stacey: Somebody is messing with us.
Me: Teresa?
Stacey: If that was Teresa, she did a really good job, because that thing looks real.
Me: Throw something else. See if you can actually hit it.
She tossed her correction tape and beaned that li'l sucker right on the head. And holy shit it moved!!! It reared it's head skyward and hissed and started squiggling toward Stacey's cubicle.
Do you remember that scene in the Princess Bride right after the six fingered man says "Not to 50!" and Wesley cries out so long and so loud that it can be heard for miles around? Double that and take it two octaves up. That was us.
I ran to the front of the building, yelling "There's a snake in the office! He's real! He's alive! He's moving and he's pissed!" Two male coworkers hurried toward me, then simultaneously cocked their heads to the side as they saw Slither still clutched in my trembling hand. "Not this one. This one's fake. The other one's real!" I tossed Slither aside and led them back to our area, where Stacey was still standing on her desk, now jumping up and down and pleading for help.
Yakkity Sax would have been the perfect soundtrack for the next few moments as the two fellows tried wrangling our newest coworker, who had discovered that he could fit quite comfortably under Stacey's cubicle wall to avoid the deluge of hands and feet that had suddenly surrounded him. He was eventually caught and humanely set free into the grassy area behind our office.
As heart rates returned to normal, we agreed, in light of what had just transpired, that Slither would no longer be an asset to our team. We simply had to let him go.
And he did go. Home. With Teresa. Guess victim #1 was a bit more amused than we thought.
Monday, January 02, 2012
2011 Year In Review
Oh, come on. Did you think I’d forget?
01 What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Jay and I created an awesome wedding cake for Brendon and Samantha.
02 Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more?
Can’t keep ‘em so I don’t make ‘em. Ever.
03 Did anyone close to you give birth?
Lot’s of people I stay in touch with via Facebook were blessed with little ones this year, but nobody "close."
04 Did anyone close to you die?
Not that I’m aware of. And I suppose “close” implies that I’d know it if they kicked it, so I should probably amend that to no.
05 What countries did you visit?
Yeah, have we met? I don’t get out much.
06 What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I don’t want to talk about it.
07 What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
We moved out of our tiny apartment and into our excessive house on July 2nd.
08 What was your biggest achievement of the year?
We moved out of our tiny apartment and into our excessive house on July 2nd.
09 What was your biggest failure?
The landscaping, which is still a touchy subject, so let’s just move along, shall we?
10 Did you suffer illness or injury?
Meh. Some ongoing issues related to my GERD. Pretty sexy stuff, really.
11 What was the best thing you bought?
Our new washer & dryer…out of necessity…not greed.
12 Where did most of your money go?
Away
13 What did you get really, really, really excited about?
We moved out of our tiny apartment and into our excessive house on July 2nd.
14 What song will always remind you of 2011?
I’ll Be Home for Christmas – She & Him. This was the first year we’ve been able to host a holiday party as well as a portion of our family Christmas festivities at our own place.
15 Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? Happier
older or wiser? Shut up.
thinner or fatter? Shut up.
richer or poorer? Shut up.
16 What do you wish you'd done more of?
Snuggling
17 What do you wish you'd done less of?
Working
18 Did you fall in love in 2011?
Daily
19 What was your favorite TV program?
The Walking Dead
20 Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
The only thing I actually hate is this question. Because it assumes that it’s acceptable to feel hatred for other people. I don’t hate anyone. And you can believe that because I’m not competing in a beauty pageant or running for office.
I’m not, however, immune to being annoyed by others. And this year I’ve been most annoyed by people who are either unable or unwilling to learn from their own mistakes.
21 What was the best book you read?
I must confess that I’ve been really enjoying the Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella.
22 What was your greatest musical discovery?
I make very few musical discoveries without the help of Jay. But I’m very glad he introduced me to the Fitz and the Tantrums this year.
23 What did you want and get?
Oh, did I tell you guys about the house yet???
24 What did you want and not get?
Isn’t this just a rephrasing of question 06? Nice try, survey, but I’m too smart to fall for that one.
25 What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2
26 What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
The weekend of my birthday was also the same weekend as Brendon & Samantha’s wedding and Jay & I’s 2nd anniversary. I had cake. Lot’s of it.
27 What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Still unlimited income
28 How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Still thriftily feminine
29 What kept you sane?
Still Jay
30 Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Maddie Hawes (The dog - not the dude!)
31 What political issue stirred you the most?
For the sake of civility, I choose not discuss politics with those that I love…and if you’re reading this blog, I totally love you, so I’m not going to answer this one.
32 Who did you miss?
My sister. Though I will admit that we did manage to get in a whole bunch of face time right at the end of the year!
33 Who was the best new person you met?
Denny Hammack. Those of you who work with me may want to accuse me of kissing up. And those of you that don't work with me would say the same when you learned that Denny is one of the new owners of my company. But if you step back and really think about it, the world would be a much better place if everybody was a little more like Denny. The man simply oozes awesome. Since it's weird to post a picture of one of your bosses, I'll post a picture of Stuffey instead.
34 Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. (Shut the Hell up Yoda - I know what I'm talking about on this one.)
35 Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
“You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?”
Happy New Year!!!
01 What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Jay and I created an awesome wedding cake for Brendon and Samantha.
02 Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more?
Can’t keep ‘em so I don’t make ‘em. Ever.
03 Did anyone close to you give birth?
Lot’s of people I stay in touch with via Facebook were blessed with little ones this year, but nobody "close."
04 Did anyone close to you die?
Not that I’m aware of. And I suppose “close” implies that I’d know it if they kicked it, so I should probably amend that to no.
05 What countries did you visit?
Yeah, have we met? I don’t get out much.
06 What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I don’t want to talk about it.
07 What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
We moved out of our tiny apartment and into our excessive house on July 2nd.
08 What was your biggest achievement of the year?
We moved out of our tiny apartment and into our excessive house on July 2nd.
09 What was your biggest failure?
The landscaping, which is still a touchy subject, so let’s just move along, shall we?
10 Did you suffer illness or injury?
Meh. Some ongoing issues related to my GERD. Pretty sexy stuff, really.
11 What was the best thing you bought?
Our new washer & dryer…out of necessity…not greed.
12 Where did most of your money go?
Away
13 What did you get really, really, really excited about?
We moved out of our tiny apartment and into our excessive house on July 2nd.
14 What song will always remind you of 2011?
I’ll Be Home for Christmas – She & Him. This was the first year we’ve been able to host a holiday party as well as a portion of our family Christmas festivities at our own place.
15 Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? Happier
older or wiser? Shut up.
thinner or fatter? Shut up.
richer or poorer? Shut up.
16 What do you wish you'd done more of?
Snuggling
17 What do you wish you'd done less of?
Working
18 Did you fall in love in 2011?
Daily
19 What was your favorite TV program?
The Walking Dead
20 Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
The only thing I actually hate is this question. Because it assumes that it’s acceptable to feel hatred for other people. I don’t hate anyone. And you can believe that because I’m not competing in a beauty pageant or running for office.
I’m not, however, immune to being annoyed by others. And this year I’ve been most annoyed by people who are either unable or unwilling to learn from their own mistakes.
21 What was the best book you read?
I must confess that I’ve been really enjoying the Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella.
22 What was your greatest musical discovery?
I make very few musical discoveries without the help of Jay. But I’m very glad he introduced me to the Fitz and the Tantrums this year.
23 What did you want and get?
Oh, did I tell you guys about the house yet???
24 What did you want and not get?
Isn’t this just a rephrasing of question 06? Nice try, survey, but I’m too smart to fall for that one.
25 What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2
26 What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
The weekend of my birthday was also the same weekend as Brendon & Samantha’s wedding and Jay & I’s 2nd anniversary. I had cake. Lot’s of it.
27 What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Still unlimited income
28 How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Still thriftily feminine
29 What kept you sane?
Still Jay
30 Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Maddie Hawes (The dog - not the dude!)
31 What political issue stirred you the most?
For the sake of civility, I choose not discuss politics with those that I love…and if you’re reading this blog, I totally love you, so I’m not going to answer this one.
32 Who did you miss?
My sister. Though I will admit that we did manage to get in a whole bunch of face time right at the end of the year!
33 Who was the best new person you met?
Denny Hammack. Those of you who work with me may want to accuse me of kissing up. And those of you that don't work with me would say the same when you learned that Denny is one of the new owners of my company. But if you step back and really think about it, the world would be a much better place if everybody was a little more like Denny. The man simply oozes awesome. Since it's weird to post a picture of one of your bosses, I'll post a picture of Stuffey instead.
34 Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. (Shut the Hell up Yoda - I know what I'm talking about on this one.)
35 Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
“You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?”
Happy New Year!!!
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