I Was a Baby When I Learned to Suck, But You Have Raised It To an Art Form.

Let the rapid aging process begin - I am now taking medication. Gone are the days when I could just prance about all willie-nillie, eating & drinking as I please. Now I have to plan it all around my pill. (Well, not the prancing. I can still prance pretty much any old time I want...but really, what's the fun in prancing if you're not slugging back a few at the same time?)

Being the hypochondriac/worrier that I am, I decided to take a really close look at the side effects. Looking past the fact that the large drug information sheet listed constipation as a possibility while the tiny, quick-reference card warned of diarrhea (wha????)...I was most surprised/amused to see this one:


Boss: "Gee Kerrie, your job performance has really gone downhill this week. One might even venture to say you're sucking hard. What's going on."

Me: "Oh. Sorry. That's just a side effect of my new medication."

(OK, so in all honesty, "sucking hard," was taken out of context...it was followed by "sugar free candy may help." But let's face it...it's a Hell of a lot funnier the way I've shown it.)