Worst. Thanksgiving. Ever?

I've been a little quiet on the blog lately. Part of that was because of the wedding preparations. Then it was because of the transition back into the real world. And then, it was because I had a secret I was keeping and didn't want to blab to the world too early.

The secret was a baby. For five brief weeks, Jay and I were going to be parents. Of course, we didn't know that until about two weeks in. So, for three weeks, Jay and I were aware that we were going to be parents. For three weeks, conversations centered around baby names and family resemblances. For three weeks, I stopped having wine with dinner and started taking prenatal vitamins. For three weeks, we were making big, grown up plans.

But plans changed pretty dramatically on Thursday. I spent the bulk of Thanksgiving day lying flat on my back, trying to keep my feet elevated and that teensy tiny miracle alive. Unfortunately, I didn't succeed.

I made a joke while Jay was standing at my ER bedside, holding my hand and stroking my hair. I said, "So many people whine and complain about Thanksgiving. About that one relative that drives everyone crazy or about the terrible traffic or about overindulging and putting on a few extra pounds. This year, I've got them all beat. I totally win the Worst Thanksgiving Ever prize."

But I really don't think that's the case. Yes, we lost something precious that day. Yes, it was tragic. But how can I just focus on the tragedy and fail to see the beauty that was everywhere around us that day? The love of a Mother, who offered hugs and kleenex and pumpkin roll at all the right times. The advice of a trained professional, who also happens to be a member of the family (fiance in law is close enough for me!). The concern of a brother, who took not one, but two trips to the Hospital to make sure we were doing okay. The hugs & prayers of a Grandmother. The words of love and support of a sister and parents who may have been miles away, but it felt like they were right there with us the whole time.

We have so much to be thankful for...and it was made more than evident to us on Thanksgiving day. How many people really get to say that? How many people really get to even see that?

No, it was not the worst Thanksgiving Day ever...just an absolutely unforgettable one.